求批改雅思作文,顺便看看原文能否上6分.1.Today,people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose,because of improved communication technology and transport.Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh its disadvantages?A

求批改雅思作文,顺便看看原文能否上6分.1.Today,people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose,because of improved communication technology and transport.Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh its disadvantages?A
求批改雅思作文,顺便看看原文能否上6分.
1.Today,people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose,because of improved communication technology and transport.Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh its disadvantages?
As the development of communication technology as well as transport,numberous people find it that they can settle down and work everywhere,currently.
To the large extent,I agree that the public are beneficial from it.Obviously,only when people have access to earn their fortune in any place they like,through technology,can they acquire a diversity of options of employments and lifestyles.Moreover,of crucial importance is,in my view,the fact that they can expand their vision and fulfill their ambitions without being restricted in an area.For instance,so dense is Beijing that people who arouse the desire to be a farmer had better to go to somewhere has not been urbanisation.Also,but for the advanced technology and the means of transport,rarely would individuals have the opportunities to live or work in their dreaming city,even though thay were given rights to.
On the other hand,since every coin has two sides,the living city to be changed frequently,unreasonbly and impulsively,citizens will realise that it is tongh to get accustomed to the entirely new surroundings.Take my sister for example.While she is to Paris what bird is to tree,she cannot communicate with residents at all because she did not get hand fo English,let alone French.
To conclude,it has a far-reaching and positive impact on the pubilc if people will think twice and prepare well for the transformation.

求批改雅思作文,顺便看看原文能否上6分.1.Today,people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose,because of improved communication technology and transport.Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh its disadvantages?A
我认为可以得六分.语法拼写错误很少出现.长短句用得不错.也比较地道.有些中式英语,但无伤大雅.行文很流畅,连接词用得很是熟练.